Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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