So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
