The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
