yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
