hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
