I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
