yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
