the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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