I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
