just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
