Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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