She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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