margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
