I need help removing her.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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