Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
