You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
