i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
