the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
