My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
