I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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