Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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