So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
