just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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