No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
