meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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