eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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