And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
