apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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