Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
