New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
