We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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