What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize