a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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