PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize