So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
