Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
