I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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