i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
