you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
