the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
