i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
