so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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