You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
