This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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