Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
