..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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