I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
