I got chris browned last night
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
