I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
