Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
