I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
