you traded sex for a burrito?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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