Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize