it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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