oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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