Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize