i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
