You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
