This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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