Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Little spoons don't ask big questions
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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