i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
