I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize