then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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