I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
